31.03.2020
New Boy in Town
Lisa
Josh
Ok, ok, I admit it...
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Josh
...you were totally right!!
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Josh
Dating apps are the best!
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Lisa
Haha yeah of course
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Lisa
So u had a date?
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Josh
You bet I did!
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Josh
Check this out
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Josh
I’m sitting in this sweet convertible
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Josh
Waiting for my extremely handsome date to grab some water
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Josh
And then he’s taking me to Raison d’Etre
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Lisa
Raisin what?
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Josh
The fancy French place!!
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Josh
SO EXCITED
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Josh
And he messaged me just a few hours after I downloaded that app
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Josh
Asked me on a date and I couldn’t say no
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Josh
You are a GENIUS for telling me about the app
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Josh
I should always listen to you
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Lisa
Well duh
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Lisa
Obviously I’m always right
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Lisa
What kind of convertible btw
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Josh
Ummm dunno
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Josh
The silver kind? lol
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Lisa
BMW?
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Josh
Since when do you care about cars?
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Josh
This guy would totally be your type though
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Josh
If he wasn’t gay I mean
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Lisa
What do u mean
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Josh
Well he’s the CEO of a big company
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Josh
Tall, older guy, little gray at the temples, but really fit
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Josh
I mean REALLY fit
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Josh
He hugged me when we first met up
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Josh
And I was like, oh God
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Josh
The ABS, girl. The ABS
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Josh
Even under the shirt I can tell
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Josh
Jeezus I hope I’m that fit when I’m 45
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Lisa
Dude’s 45? Really?
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Josh
Yeah I know
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Josh
At first I was like, that’s a little out of my ideal range?
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Josh
I mean it’s an over 20 year age difference I know
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Josh
But then I saw his pic on the app
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Josh
And I HAD to answer his message
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Josh
It’s not just his looks either
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Josh
He just...smells...amazing
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Josh
I don’t know, you know when you meet someone
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Josh
And they just give you that yummy feeling?
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Josh
Oh my God and you should see his smile
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Josh
I thought I was gonna melt right into my shoes
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Josh
He kissed me on the cheek and I was like...
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Josh
...my legs are jelly now...
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Josh
...am I even going to make it to the car?
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Josh
Seriously the chemistry is crazy
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Josh
And let me tell you Lisa
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Josh
OH
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Josh
MY
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Josh
GOD
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Josh
I am in love
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Josh
L-O-V-E
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Josh
Book the church
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Josh
I’m gonna get married
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Lisa
Wait
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Lisa
Mr. CEO proposed?
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Josh
Lol no
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Josh
But he is AMAZING
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Lisa
So tell me what happened next
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Lisa
All the sticky details
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Josh
Hahaha
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Josh
No ‘sticky’ details!
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Josh
He was a perfect gentleman❤️
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Lisa
So u went on a date with Mr. CEO
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Lisa
But nothing happened?
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Josh
Well...
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Josh
I really wanted to
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Josh
But at the last moment I chickened out
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Lisa
Why?
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Josh
Well the date went great
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Josh
It turns out his Bachelors was in art history
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Josh
Of course it was
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Lisa
Lol
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Josh
So we talked about that
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Josh
And about traveling in Europe and stuff
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Josh
And every once in a while he’d just touch my hand or my knee
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Josh
Really lightly
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Josh
And the way he smiled at me
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Lisa
But u chickened
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Josh
Well we went back to the fancy hotel room
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Josh
Totes gorgeous btw
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Josh
And he’s kissing me
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Lisa
But?
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Josh
But...?
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Josh
There I am, SO READY
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Josh
And he lets me go and starts taking unbuttoning his shirt really slow
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Josh
And I was totally right
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Josh
MAG ABS
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Josh
Totally flat 6-pack
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Josh
Kind of reminded me of your boyfriend’s
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Josh
Too bad he’s a homophobic piece of crap...
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Lisa
Hey, Kelsey is a great guy!
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Josh
Whatever. let’s get back to my date
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Josh
Mr. CEO is there with me
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Josh
...he’s so smart, so handsome...
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Josh
...obviously knows exactly what he’s doing...
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Josh
...and I have no freaking clue what to do.
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Lisa
Wait
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Lisa
U chickened out
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Lisa
Why?
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Josh
Because…
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Josh
I just got so nervous
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Josh
And he noticed that right away that
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Josh
But I think he totally picked up on it
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Josh
But in some ways this is the best part
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Josh
Because he just kissed me really gently
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Josh
And started buttoning his shirt back up
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Josh
And said it was better if we take it slow
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Josh
I was getting kind of sniffly and apologized
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Josh
Really felt like a piece of crap
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Josh
Like I led him on somehow
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Josh
But he was totally cool about it
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Josh
He asked me on a second date
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Josh
And he already texted me a screenshot of the reservation he made
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Josh
So I know he isn’t just being nice?
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Josh
We’re really going out again!
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Lisa
Wow
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Josh
I know right!!
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Lisa
No, I mean
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Lisa
Wow
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Lisa
U are such a loser
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Josh
Um what?
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Lisa
U had to use a dating app to find a guy
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Lisa
U pulled some creeper old dude
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Lisa
And then u couldn’t even do anything
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Lisa
And u are also gay?
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Lisa
I knew u were a dork
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Lisa
But this...this is just sad
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Josh
WTH
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Lisa
Why are you so mean all of a sudden Lisa?
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Lisa
Lisa left her phone at my place
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Lisa
You’ve been talking to her lovely boyfriend this whole time
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Lisa
Telling me all the details
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Josh
SCREW YOU KELSEY!!
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Lisa
Oh no
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Lisa
Screw u my friend
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Josh
Don’t you worry Kelsey
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Josh
Our next date with Mr.CEO will be very special
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Josh
Romantic and tender
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Josh
You’ll wish you were in my place
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Josh
Don’t you want to go on a date with a handsome man too?
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Josh
?
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Lisa
Shut up Josh
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Josh
Oh I know you are
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Josh
You “straight” guys claim not to like it
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Josh
But you’re always just looking for an excuse
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Josh
To indulge in your gay fantasies
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Josh
So don’t worry. I’ll text you
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Josh
And tell you aaaaalll about my second date with Mr.CEO
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